


The Fools Ace

by hisosick



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Fanfiction, Fighting Kink, Gay Sex, M/M, Minor Character Death, NSFW In Future Chapters, Tsunderes, Yaoi, at first, then it gets consentual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:04:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisosick/pseuds/hisosick
Summary: "I would slap the fuck out of you but I don't want to get pedophile on my hand."- Orion Thorne. A foul mouthed kid who doesn't take shit from anyone. Even psychotic killer clowns. What will happen when this clown, Hisoka, takes a liking to him?





	1. The x Exam x Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also available on wattpad! Re-publishing on here :)
> 
> Before we get into things, let me introduce you :)
> 
> Full Name: Orion Thorne
> 
> Age: 16
> 
> Hair Color: Black
> 
> Eye Color: Neon Green
> 
> Birthday: December 20th (Sagittarius)
> 
> Height: 167cm (5'6)
> 
> Weight: 57kg (126 pounds)
> 
> Blood Type: AB
> 
> Nen type: Enhancer

"Wooooo, that was one heck of a journey just to get to this place," I say, plopping my butt down on the hard ground. I've just reached the site of the Hunter Exam, and I'm hella excited! I'm finally gonna get to go on adventures and stuff -3- Once I finish up here and head back to YorkNew to show Uncle Riko my license, he won't be able to hold me down anymore! I could go to pretty much anywhere!

I stand up and dust myself off. Man, I got really dirty on the way over here...

I lean down to pick a rock out of my Doc Martens when this pot-bellied dude comes up to me. He hands me a can of soda and asks,"Are you new this year?" This guy seems okay. He is #16.

"Yeah! Thanks for the soda," I say, putting the Orange can in my backpack. I'm definitely not gonna drink that. Soda is disgusting...

"So what's your name?" he asks. "My name's Orion, yours?"

"Mine's Tonpa. I just thought that I would come over and introduce myself to help you out."

"Help me out?"

"Yup, this is my 35th attempt at the Hunter Exam. Need any pointers?" Well that's something I wouldn't be boasting about. "Uh...no. But it's nice too meet you Tonpa," I said, holding out my hand for a shake. "Yeah uh, aren't you going to drink your soda?"

"No. I hate soda."

"Oh," he said, disappointedly. After that, he just walked away. Weirdddddddddd.

I look across from me and see a girl around my age playing some type of game on a handheld. It looks pretty intense so I don't bother her. I look around and see all the people who have been waiting. Now that I find myself at the exam site, I'm kind of bummed that I have to wait. I really hope it starts soon...what should I do in the meantime? Take a nap? Scope the other applicants?

I glance around casually, getting a good look at all the other people here. I'm trying to estimate their strength by appearance. I see lots of different people here...When I first came in, that green bean guy handed me a tag with the number 335 on it. I could've gotten here sooner if Uncle Riko wouldn't have staled me.

The weakest person here so far is this chubby kid with a computer. He definitely won't make it past the first phase. I can't decide on the strongest, but I can definitely decide on the top 2 creepiest of the bunch. First off, there's this twitchy purple guy that has a bunch of needles stuck inside him. He's #301.

The second creepiest person I see looks like a clown, except instead of getting the chuckles every time I look at him, I get the chills. He's #44.

I put my head down for a minute so nobody thinks anything suspicious of me. I bring my head back up to check on that creepy clown guy, but he's not where he was before. Where the heck did he go? I glance around a little more and I still can't find him. Darnit!

"What are you looking for?~"

"AHH!" I yell and jump up from where I was sitting.

"What the hell?!"

"Did I disrupt something?~"

So he did sense me watching him. "Yeah, you disrupted my personal space, weirdo..." I know I should probably be afraid of him now, but honestly, he seems like the type of person you just want to punch in the face. With a chair.

"Hm, well you don't exactly have room to talk, you were sneaking glances at me earlier~" ah, so that's how he wants to do things. "Well you are the second creepiest guy here," I said.

The tails of his lips turned. "Who's the first?~" he asked.

"Mr. Tick-tock over there," I said while gesturing to #301.

He laughed. "I do have to admit, you are rather amusing~" he half mumbled.

"Well I would say thanks but, you don't seem like the kind of guy I want to take compliments from."

"That right there is exactly what I'm talking about~" he told me. This guy has his rape face on and I didn't really want to continue this conversation. "Yeah...well I wish I could say that it's been nice talking to you, but it hasn't. Sooo bye!" I said, then began to walk off somewhere else. This is when Tonpa approached me again.

"Do you know who you just talked to kid?!"

"Oh, the Pedo Clown over there, yeah. He has definitely lost some marbles. Why?"

"That's Hisoka! You should stay away from him. Last year, he got disqualified from the exam for almost killing an examiner! So he really is a murderous nutcase. Great.

"Okay, I get it. Thanks for the tip," I said, trying to shoo Tonpa away. After he finally left me, I leaned myself up against the cold and slightly damp concrete wall. I watched as Tonpa approached three other people who entered through the elevator.

One of them looks like he could be my age. Should I go say hi? It would be nice to have a team or something. I know that it would be stupid to form a team with Tonpa since this is his 35th attempt, but these guys look pretty cool. The tallest one is #403. The shorter blonde kid next to him (who kinda looks like a girl) is #404. And the kid that looks my age is #405. I start to overhear their conversation with Tonpa. They suddenly all spit out the soda he offered.

"Uh, I think the soda you gave us is expired," #405 said with a sheepish smile. His friends seemed to over react and get really mad at Tonpa. "Uh, I-I'm sorry about that..haha," Tonpa said while rubbing the back of his neck.

I started to walk over to the group of three after Tonpa left, but before I could reach them a loud, high pitched scream came from a muscular man with a mohawk.

"M-My arms!!" he yelled,"They're disappearing!" It was super funny to see this masculine guy's arms turn into flower petals, I could barely hold in my devilish laughs. "Wow, how pretty," the girl I saw earlier muttered. Okay, there definitely something wrong with her.

After I was able to control myself, I looked at who seemed to be the culprit. There he was, Hisoka, standing in front of the man who was now on his knees. "When you bump into someone, you really should apologize~" Hisoka said sadistically.

".....Are you kidding me?!"

Oops. I didn't mean to say it out loud. Hisoka turned his head towards me. And soon after that everyone's eyes were boring into my head like I just made the biggest mistake of my life. Well, crap....there's no going back now. "What's the matter?~" he asked.

Okay, I either stand my ground or act like a little wuss, but that really didn't matter when my mouth was already moving on it's own. "You really took the guys arms off because he bumped into you? That's stupid, and childish." I said confidently.

Nearly everyone in the room gasped, and Hisoka started to walk towards me. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I still tried my hardest to not falter under the intense gaze of his devious eyes. "And are you not childish yourself?~" he asked, stopping about a foot away from me. He leaned down so our faces were about two inches apart. I didn't back away. I gave him my best glare.

"Of course I am childish! But I have an excuse," I leaned in a little closer to Hisoka,"What's yours?" I taunt.

It seems like time froze as everyone got quiet, waiting for Hisoka's reaction. Finally, after what felt like an eternity later, Hisoka did something. He leaned in close to my ear and whispered,

"You would be dead by now if I didn't like you~"

"Eww..." I said, backing away from him and his perverted looking smile. Then, the wall opposite the side we came in through began to rise, catching everyone's attention. A man with purple hair and an amazing mustache was standing on the other side.

"Welcome applicants to the 287th Hunter Exam! I am your phase one examiner, Satotz. We shall being the 1st phase now! But first, I must warn you, you may die while taking the exam! If you choose to not continue, you may leave now!" As expected, not one person turned away. "Excellent! Now, if all 404 applicants would please follow me!"

Satotz began to walk steadily inside the tunnel. I decided to stay towards the back of the group. Maybe I could finally have a chance to talk to those three from earlier. I spotted the boy around my age and walked up next to him. "Hey, what's your name?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"My name's Gon!" he said cheerfully,"Yours?"

"My name is Orion," I said with a smile. I noticed he was carrying a fishing rod in his backpack.

"Why are you carrying that?" I ask him, pointing at the silver pole and red bobber. "It comes in handy sometimes," he answered. Well that's weird. Out of everything he could have brought...

"You're gonna have to show me how you use it sometime." "Sure thing!" he said.

We were interrupted by #403 accusing a white haired boy (who also looked my age) on a skate board of cheating. "Leorio!" #404 began,"calm down!" I guess his name is Leorio. Haha. The Oreo. "But he's riding a skateboard while we are all stuck running! This is an endurance test and he's cheating!"

"No he's not," Gon said. "Yeah," I piped in,"Satotz just said we had to follow him. He never said that this was an endurance test."

"Who's side are you on?!?" The Oreo complained. The white haired boy scooted closer to us.

"How old are you?" he asked Gon. "12," he responded.

"Hm," he said, then stylishly hopped off his skateboard and began running. "Cool!" Gon and I both gasped. The white haired boy glanced over to me.

"Hey! Your the person that stood up to Hisoka!"

"Uh, yeah. Haha, I didn't think I had that in me.." I replied. "How old are you?" I asked

"I'm also 12," he answered. "What's your name?" Gon asked the boy. "Killua."

"Ok, well mine is Gon! And this is Orion! Nice to meet you!" I don't know how Gon can be so nice, I'm jealous. Killua then started looking to the front, and then behind him. "What's wrong?" Gon asked.

"Have you guys seen a girl with black hair and huge purple eyes?" He asked. "Umm, no sorry," Gon answered. The description seemed familiar to me, but I ignored it. We chatted like this for about thirty minutes. We'd been running for a while, and I was starting to wonder when we would stop. This is super boring..

I noticed The Oreo, okay, Leorio slow to a stop, reaching his limit. Gon and Killua stopped as well, to egg him on I guess. I just kept on running. I was starting to feel like the third wheel anyways. I took this opportunity to run up to the front of the group and keep an eye on Satotz. He is going really fast now. Oh what do you know, there was a black haired girl right next to him. Just when I was thinking of going back and telling Killua, she started speeding right past Satotz. Welp, there goes that plan.

"Hello again~" said a creepily familiar voice. Why does he even talk to me?? Can't he go creep out someone else? "What the hell do you want?" I asked harshly. "Nothing really, why must you be so rude to me?~"

"If you want me to be honest..." I began. "Continue~"

"Well, to be frank, you creep me the fuck out and you act like a real douche."

"Well that's not very polite..." he said looking down at me. "You know what else isn't polite? Cutting someone's arms off for almost no reason. So don't you scold me..." I warned him.

"He wouldn't have made a good Hunter anyways~" Hisoka said. "Well that doesn't mean you half to dispose of his arms! That's crazy! Besides, who gave you the right to play examiner?" I asked.

He gave me a look I couldn't quite comprehend. "You know, you're the first person to scold me like this..." he said.

"I'm not surprised, everyone else is too afraid to even look at you. If I weren't so stupid, I would be the same..." I'm surprised that I'm talking to a person like this. Especially this person. "Well, just to make things clear, I'm not afraid to kill anyone~" Is he threatening me?

"Well no shit. Thanks for that piece of information, Captain Obvious," I said while rolling my eyes.

He laughed under his breath at my snarkiness. I glared up at him for laughing, then thought about something.

"What did you mean earlier?"

"Mean about what?~"

"About liking me."

"Oh....~" he said quietly.

"......Well? Tell me!"

"I meant that I like you~" he said simply. "You're such an ass..." I mumble. "But," he continued,"I also didn't kill you because the more toys I have to play with, the better."

"What do you mean toys?" He laughed again. "It's something you wouldn't understand~"

I just gave him another one of my glares and kept running. I didn't want to waste another breath on talking, I was starting to get a little tired. I didn't want Hisoka to know that, though. After running for a while longer, we came to a long ass staircase. I picked up speed, wanting to be the first one up there. Hisoka was still by my side, he picked up his speed as well. "I'm surprised you can still go this fast, Orion~" he said.

"Wait a second, how do you know my name?"

"I have excellent hearing~" was all he responded with.

"Stalker..." I said under my breath. We continued to run up the stairs like this for twenty more minutes. I took the last step and was immediately disappointed. I totally forgot that girl went ahead of Satotz and here she was. "Damn it! I wanted to be first~" I wined. She giggled at me and stood up, dusting herself.

"Well, as an apology, I'll give you this," She said, offering me a tootsie pop. I was still upset, but took it. It was blue raspberry flavored after all. "What's your name?" I asked. "Mine's Orion." She was about to answer when there was a loud yell coming from the tunnel. "GOALLLLLLLLLL!"

Turns out it was Gon and Killua. "Eh?! Claire?! Orion?" Killua said, shocked.

"Yay, I win!" Gon cheered.

"What are you talking about? I was faster!" Killua argued.

"I was."

"No, I was!"

"I was faster, so you have to buy dinner!"

"No! I was, so you have to buy me dinner."

"But I was faster. Hey, Satotz-san, who was faster?"

Satotsu looked a bit puzzled. "I believe it was Claire who was the fastest. Both of you crossed the finish line simultaneously."

"Claire?" Gon questioned. "Hello! I'm Gon Freecs!"

"Claire," she said in a calm voice. By this point I was already bored with the conversation and went to sit elsewhere.

"We will wait here till more of the applicants come and the time limit is up," the examiner said.

"That's..fine with me.." I said while taking deep breaths. I laid myself on ground next to where Hisoka was sitting. "Tired?" he asked.

"No...I'm overflowing with energy.." I replied, stretching out my exhausted legs. "I'm surprised you can still make sarcastic comments like that~"

"Just shut up and go give someone else a hard time..."

He didn't say anything else after that, but he didn't leave either. Hisoka is the person I've spent the most time with here so far. It's still a joke to me, how I've managed to catch the attention of the creep like this.

I must be a real perv magnet....


	2. Under x My x Skin

After resting for a little longer, I sit up and notice that more applicants have showed up. Just as I thought, a lot of people have failed to reach the top. A man was inches away from reaching the end of the staircase, but the metal wall slid down before he could lay a finger on the outside.

"Hey!" Gon said from a distance, beckoning me over to him and his friends. Why didn't he just come over to me? I glanced to my left. Oh, that's why.

Hisoka sensed me looking at him while shuffling his cards. "Care to play?~" he asked. "Uh...no...."

I got up and walked over to Gon, The Oreo, and the girly blonde kid.

"Hi. Um, I don't think I got your name," I gestured to the blonde boy. "Kurapika," he answered with a faint smile. Kurapika...that's an odd name but this guy seems reliable. Every time I look into his eyes....there's something missing. Makes me wonder....

"Why were you sitting next to Hisoka?!" The Oreo questioned. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you 'don't know'?!?!" he stated frantically. "I seriously don't know. Why don't you go ask him why he's hanging around me?"

"I'll pass..." he said, looking at me curiously. Gon also gave me a curious look."Are you guys friends?" he asked innocently.

"I don't think so..."

"Well, he seems to like you. I mean, he didn't hurt you earlier!" Gon said cheerfully. Why the hell is he so happy? "Uh, yeah..." I said, still trying to form a solid opinion about Hisoka.

I saw Claire staring at him for a while before turning back with a worried expression. "I don't care who you want to be friends with, but be careful around him. Just looking at him I know he's killed dozens and seems to have no moral compass. If you run into trouble with him, don't hesitate to ask for my help."

I was almost shocked. We literally just met and she seemed to be a carefree, ditzy girl, but it's refreshing to see she has a serious side. "Uh, I will..thanks."

Killua seemed to be glaring at me by now. Ah, I see how it is. He likes her. My thoughts were interrupted by Kurapika.

"Looks like we are going to start soon..." Kurapika mumbled. Satotz straightened his posture and began to speak.

"Glad to see that most of you made it. Welcome, to the Numere Wetlands! Before we continue with our run, I must warn you. The wetlands is filled with dangerous creatures that will try to play tricks on you, luring in and killing you. Pay attention and stay close to me, if you get lost in the fog I can almost guarantee that you will die." This is so cool! Everyone else seemed pretty nervous, but this is so exciting! I felt a grin come across my face, then I felt the gazes of my new friends.

"Why are you so happy?!? We could die here!!" The Oreo said. "Where's your sense of adventure?" I asked all of them. "I'm not worried," Kurapika began,"but I'm not excited either..."

"I'm a little excited! But not as much as Orion..." he said, looking at me weirdly. Maybe these guys aren't as fun as I thought....but their reactions are pretty funny. They must think I'm insane...I just might be. But I would never compare myself to Hisoka...

Satotz began talking again, but I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying till someone interrupted him. "He's not the examiner!" a rough looking man said as he pointed at Satotz,"I am!"

Everyone exchanged glances, then looked at Satotz. How could they even fall for this? Obviously Satotz is our real examiner. The man then pulled out an ugly ass ape looking thingy, saying that Satotz was one of them and he was trying to trick us into following him. BulllShitttttt........

"He wants to eat you!!!!" the man yelled. I was about to step in and reassure everyone that Satotz is our real examiner, but I stopped when I felt something whiz through the air. The man fell to the ground with two cards lodged in his chest. I looked over at Satotz and saw that he had caught the two cards.

"Then it's settled," spoke a deep and devious voice,"you are the real one~" I turned around and glared at Hisoka. He returned the look with a big smile.

"I appreciate the gesture, but if you show violence towards any of the examiners ever again, you will be disqualified." Satotz said. "Understood~" Hisoka responded.

Satotz then turned around and began running once again. Gon, Kurapika and The Oreo stayed in the back of the group, but I felt more comfortable in the middle. "It really is the best place to be..." I said, trying to convince them to move up with me. I didn't want anything to happen to them. It's not like I've gotten soft, I just don't want to see something bad happen to people this promising.

"We will be fine back here." Gon said reassuringly. "Okay..." I said under my breath. I'm surprised that big sumo-looking guy has lasted this long. Lugging around all that body weight must be pretty tiring.

I look around and try to make out things through the fog. I keep hearing weird animal noises and I'm pretty sure that the guys hanging around the left side of the group disappeared out of thin air. Just what kind of place is this? "Are you nervous yet?~" said Hisoka, approaching me from my right.

"Pfft, as if.." I say confidently. "We'll see how long you can keep up that confidence of yours~"

"I'm can be idiotically over confident most of the time, so I wouldn't count on me just succumbing into defeat or anything..." I told him. "You can just simplify that sentence into 'I can be an idiot'~"

"Just worry about you and that big hair of yours Hisoka." I said, annoyed by his existence. "Big hair? Is that a backhanded compliment or are you just jealous?~" he said, gesturing to my soft black locks.

"Hey! I'm proud of my hair actually, I'm just not an attention whore like you..." I couldn't stop myself from laughing at what I had said.

"Laughing at your own jokes...you don't seem so far from insane yourself, Orion~" Is it me, or am I actually enjoying this conversation now?

"I'm genuinely insane, you are sadistically insane."

"I can't deny that~" he said, looking down at me and licking his lips. "Can you not do that?" I ask, grossed out.

He suddenly stopped, and I stopped with him. How did we get surrounded so fast? Man, I should've been paying more attention. "Hisoka! You shall not pass!!" (See what I did there)

"What do we have here?~"

"If you agree to never take the Hunter Exam ever again we will let you live!" What have I gotten myself into? And Hisoka will never agree to that! "Okay~" he said simply.

"H-huh?" the man said, confused.

"I won't have to take it again because I'm passing this year~" Hisoka said matter-of-factly.

"Ugh! We will just have to end it here then!"

"Is that so?~" They can't win against Hisoka! And they're treating me as if I'm invisible, what the hell?

"Hey, blue shirt!" I call out. "Move out of the way! Unless you want to die by Hisoka too!" he yelled.

Hisoka glanced at me, then back at the man and his accomplices. I put my serious face on and straightened my posture. "First of all, you are a dumb fuck if you think you could ever win against Hisoka," I spoke with confidence and determination. Sometimes, I worry about myself when I hear how scary I can sound. They all looked at me from a different perspective. I think even Hisoka was surprised.

"Second of all," I began,"I would never let myself be killed by someone like you." I could even feel the gleam in my eye as I talked.

"Charge!" the man yelled, ignoring everything I just said. "Duck~"

About .75 seconds after I heard that, I heard a 'whoosh' above my head as I bent down towards the ground. I got back up and all the men around us collapsed, leaving just their leader left.

"Why did you do that?!?" I yelled. "They were going to kill us~"

"Yeah, maybe in an alternate dimension where you're actually sane! Why would you just kill them?" He ignored me and turned his attention back to the man now crawling away from us on the ground. He was shaking pretty bad. Hisoka drew out another card. "Stop now!" I yelled at him.

"Why? He is not needed in this world.~"

"No one decided you could play the role of God!"

"And no one decided you could play the role of hero.~" he said smoothly. He's right.

"I don't care if I'm being a hypocrite right now! Why would you waste your time on someone like him anyways? Why not just flee?" I ask him. "You don't understand anything, do you?~"

Now he's making me mad! I don't get him! I don't get anything about Hisoka!

"A life is a life! This guy is stupid, but he's not bad! Just leave him!" Before I could do anything, Hisoka threw a card that seemed to curve right around me and hit the man in the back of the skull.

"You shouldn't act like a hero if you can't protect anyone.~" he said coldly. My eyes were stuck on the body now laying lifeless on the ground. Then I glance at the rest of them... How could someone do this...? How?

"How...how can you do this...."

"It's rather easy.~" I already knew that he was able to use nen on his cards to make them as deadly as blades, but how did he curve it like that? Maybe if I was using Gyo..

I can't take this anymore. I can't believe I actually thought about keeping this person around as an 'acquaintance of sorts'. I....I want to kill him. "If anyone needs to die right now, it's you..." I mumbled, still stuck in a daze. I didn't think I would fight for real during the exam. Not like this.

All he did was chuckle. "I haven't hated someone this much in a long time..." I said, pulling out my twin daggers.

"Oh?~"

My bloodlust was flowing through me and I couldn't stop myself. Man, I've never been this pissed in a seriously long time. My eyes burning with rage, I looked up at Hisoka. The expression I saw seemed to shock me back into place. What kind of face is that?!?!?!?

When I looked back at him, he had his rape face on. I followed gaze all the way down to my...oh hell no. He just totally ruined the moment. I was so close to kicking his ass!!!

"Oh, please keep talking, it's turning me on~"

"I would slap the fuck out of you but I don't want to get pedophile on my hand." I put my daggers back in their place.

"Aw, you've already cooled down? No fun...I wanted to play with you~"

"That's...disgusting..." I mumbled. What was I thinking two seconds ago? If I would've fought Hisoka for real, I could've ended up dead! Or...he could've...done something else....

Hisoka brought out a walkie talkie and began talking with someone on the other end. I didn't really feel like listening in, even though I should have. I just stared blankly at the bodies. I really couldn't do anything against Hisoka...well I could've, but I didn't have the guts to come at him. Is it because I thought he was a friend? Or was I just that afraid of his stupid card tricks?

He finished his conversation and turned to me. "Let's get going. I can get us back to the group.~"

"Who says I want to go anywhere with you?" I said with attitude. "You wouldn't last 10 minutes wandering around here by yourself.~"

He's probably right. "Fine, I will stick with you till we get back to Satotz. But after that, I'm staying as far away from you as possible."

"Actually, I've decided that you will be staying by my side from now on.~" What is he talking about?!? "What?"

"You are very amusing, I want to keep you around me.~" Is he being...possessive?!?

"I don't know what's going through that insane little brain of yours, but I'm not your property!"

"Right now you aren't. But one day, I will surely make you mine.~" he said, licking his lips. "I'm not staying with yo-" I was cut off by a cold hand over my mouth. "You will stay with me from now on."

There wasn't any playfulness left in his voice when he said that. I wanted to protest, but I couldn't move a muscle. This man is getting under my skin so much. He is ruining my exam experience. Hisoka took his hand off my face and began to walk into the fog. I unconsciously followed him. This is gonna be so much fucking fun.

Why out of all people;

does he have to do this to me?


	3. Pigs x And x Blimps

I follow behind Hisoka silently, as we continue our journey through the fog to who knows where.

"Do you really know where we're going?" I ask him nervously. "Yes, this has a GPS~" he said, holding up his walkie talkie.

I'm guessing he can see where his accomplice is on there, and we are following whoever that is.

I wonder if Gon and the others are okay...I hope they are still with Satotz...I can't wait to see them so I can ignore Hisoka for a little bit.

Damn him. Every time I look at the guy I get this burning sensation all over me.

I look up and glance at his back while jogging.

How is he so tall? And how do those rings around his waist work?? And how is his hair always so perfect?!?!?!?

"I can feel you~" he said, turning back to look at me.

"W-what?"

"If you're curious about anything, just ask~"

"Okay..." I responded quietly. If I try to ditch him later, what will he do? How am I gonna get out of this...

"Hey, Hisoka."

"Hm?~" I run up next to him. "You see me as an object, right?"

"More or less...~" he answered, looking down at me once again. Like he was inspecting me, seeing right through my clothes and skin. Seeing right past my eyes into my skull. "Can you not look at me like that!" I yell at him.

"Like what?~" he says, slowing his pace. "Like I'm an object!" I said angrily. He slowed down even more. "It's awfully hard to break old habits....~"

"Seeing someone for what they are isn't hard at all, you're just an asshole!" He didn't respond, he just slowed to a walk.

He didn't look at me and I didn't look at him for what seemed like the longest 10 minutes of my life. "Are we almost there?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes." Was he upset with me? I stopped walking. "What's up with you now?!?" I shouted. He just looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

"You don't like me." he said, slightly frowning. "NO SHIT I DON'T LIKE YOU. How can I like someone like you? You just killed like, 8 guys for the fun of it! I won't ever like you after that! I mean, I didn't even know you took other people's opinions of you so personally till now!" I did feel bad for what I said, but he needed to hear it.

He turned away from me and started walking again. "Five more minutes~" he said with a playful tone. The fuck?!? I thought he was all depressed just a second ago, seriously! This guy is a big bucket full of different emotions...

"God, you piss me off...." I mumbled. "Good~" he said, smiling at me. About five minutes later, like he said, we found the spot where the other applicants were resting.

"Orion! You made it!" I heard Gon yell to my left. He waved when I looked at him. I was about to walk over to him, but I was stopped by a cold hand on my shoulder.

Hisoka leaned down close to me, his lips brushing against my ear. "Remember, you are mine~" he whispered. Chills went down my spine as he released his grip on me.

I approached Gon and the others, not checking behind me to see if Hisoka was watching. Seeing him would make me blush even harder. "What was that about....?" The Oreo asked.

"Um..." was all I could squeak out. "Yeah, why were you with Hisoka??" Gon questioned. "Did he do something to you?" Kurapika asked quietly.

"No! I just got lost in the fog, and I happened to be with him..." I blurt out a little too fast. They all looked at me as if a unicorn horn was sticking out of my forehead.

My face was still hot from the contact with Hisoka. If Satotz hadn't began to talk, I think it would have gotten redder and redder. "Well, this is the end of the first phase. I congratulate you all for getting here mostly alive! I will now leave you to the second phase."

Then he walked off back into the wetlands. These big concrete walls began to slide open. When the dust settled, we got to lay our eyes on the next examiner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WELL.

FUCK.

SHE WANTS US TO COOK.

Claire was currently having a mental breakdown and was now crawling to the kitchen things. "I've been deafeated..my only weakness.." she mumbled. I felt bad, but this was a competition.

I know about gourmet Hunters but I didn't expect that the exam would consist of this. THE ONLY THING I CAN PREPARE IS RAMEN.

Menchi wants us to go into the forest, hunt down some pigs and prepare a decent meal. I'm pretty sure I got the hunting part down...

"How are we supposed make something if we can't even find the ingredients..." Kurapika mumbled as we searched for pigs. "Maybe they're down-woah!" Gon yelled, as he slipped down a hill.

"That looks like fun!" Killua said, sliding down as well. The Oreo, Kurapika, and I joined in the sliding only to find ourselves awfully close to some big ass, mean looking pigs. "Why are they chewing on bones...? Are they carnivores?!?!" said The Oreo.

"L-looks like it..." Killua mumbled. We caught the pigs attention, and let's just say they weren't very happy to see us.

"How are we supposed to kill these things?!" I questioned. I don't want to be killed by a fucking pig, hell no! People were being trampled by them while we were running, Gon decided to make an attempt at attacking one. He tried to hit it on its nose, it had no affect. But, he did manage to drive it into a tree, and it seemed to be in immense pain from the hit. "Aim for their foreheads!!" Gon instructed.

I didn't want to draw my daggers or get them dirty, so I just roundhouse kicked one right on its soft, exposed piece of skull. Once we got to the area we would prepare our pigs, I decided to make pork chops. Almost everyone else was just impaling the thing and putting it over a fire. I'm smart enough to realize that's not what I should do.

I was done adding the final touches to my dish when it happened. I was carefully moving the plate on over to where Menchi sat, waiting to judge, when I tripped over my own shoelace. And landed face first into my pork chops.

Everyone started laughing.

Fuckitty fuck fuck fuck!

I can't believe I just did that! Even Menchi was laughing!

Dammit!

I got up slowly, my face stoic, and crawl next to Claire and curled up into a little pathetic ball.

"I'm sorry father, I've failed..ah being outside was fun while it lasted..." I heard Claire mumble. Wtf?? What kind of life had she been living before this..?

"Ah, at least I can wear kimono's again and help brother with missions. Yes not all hope is lost." She said as she fell into her puddle of imaginary tears. I would have laughed but I was busy playing emo.

I heard Menchi fail literally everyone on the exam as I was silently crying inside in my emo corner of darkness. At least no one else is passing this year.

Just when I thought it was all over, something swift fell from the sky. When the dust cleared, I was surprised to find that it was the chairman, Isaac Netero. "Now now, Menchi, you decided to fail everyone because you thought they weren't willing to try new things?"

"N-no...I let my anger get the best of me when an applicant got on my nerves, I apologize...You should find a new examiner."

"It would be troublesome to find a new examiner now, would you consider coming up with a different task for phase two? One that you also have to participate in."

"BOILED EGGS. TAKE US TO MOUNT SPLIT-IN-HALF."

Before I knew it, I was on a swanky ass blimp on my way to Mt. Split-in-whatever. To boil some dream eggs I guess.

When we arrived, I was actually surprised to see that the mountain really was split straight down the middle, creating a deep crevice filled with some magical beast eggs. Menchi demonstrated how we needed to jump of the fucking cliff and onto the webs below to get the eggs but Claire beat her to it and jumped down, then used some type of Nen to move the web. Yep. She was good at practically everything exept cooking. Not that I've ever seen her do it, but I'll take her word for it by the way she was earlier.

Everyone else tried, and It was actually pretty fun, although a few idiots jumped too early, not waiting for the updraft. The guys who didn't have the guts to jump failed the second phase.

"That was delicious!" said Gon.

"Yeah, I see why they call it a dream egg..." I added.

Claire tapped my shoulder and pointed at Hisoka next to shaky dude. I was exasperated. How the hell did he get an egg with just a flick of a finger??

"Use Gyo." She whispered in my ear. OH THAT WAS IT. I did what she said and saw him have this rubbery pink thing around his finger, catching another egg for Mr. Tick Tock. I tried not to laugh as he dropped it and Hisoka threatened to punch him in the throat before getting another one....I need to remind myself to use Gyo next time I see him.

"If you ever feel suspicious, don't hesitate to use Gyo. I saw him put that thing on you a couple of times already."

WTF?? Now I was pissed.

Me and the others made small talk till Netero piled us back onto the swanky blimp. "We will arrive at the next phase in about 10 hours, until then you may do as you please."

"Orion! Wanna come with me and Killua? We're gonna go explore!" Gon said with excitement in his voice.

"Yeah! I wanna see if they ha-" My mouth was once again covered by a cold hand.

"Actually, Orion is going to stay with me~"

Before Gon and the others could even respond, Hisoka was dragging me away from them. "Hey! I wanted to go explore -3-" I pouted.

"Wouldn't you rather build a house of cards with me?~" he teased.

"Like hell I would.." I glanced over to look at the friends Hisoka pulled me away from to see that Gon and Killua had already gone off to explore.

"Do you really consider them your friends?~"

"Yeah, they are good people...and the only reason they ran off was because you're next to me.." I looked down at my shoes, thinking about what it is to be a friend.

"They are quick leave you behind...~" Hisoka pointed out. "Well, you're not exactly the best friend one could hope for either!" I said angrily.

"You consider me a friend? Hmm..~" He gave me a sick look that spelled 'RAPE'. He pisses me off so much, I just....

"I want to rip your skin off and feed it to my gold fish." I said darkly. All he did was laugh.

"I don't think you want to know what I am dying to do to you....~"

I pulled out my daggers. "STOP BEING A PERVERT!" I yelled, making everyone's eyes turn towards us.

"U-uh...sorry!" I say, trying to look somewhat sane. I put my daggers back but I still want to rip Hisoka's skin off.

"Let's go find a room~" he said suddenly, licking his lips. "N-No!" I declined frantically, backing away from the sociopathic clown.

"Disobeying me will only make things harder for you~" he said. Okay, what do I do?!? This blimp is huge, I think I can find a hiding place somewhere, but do I take the risk and run?

He took a step towards me.

Yep, I'm running.

I quickly turn on my heels and head down the hallway, swerving into doorways, weaving in and out of different rooms, and sneaking past all the chefs in the kitchen just to hide in their freezer.

I hope I lost him...he's too tall to sneak past all the chefs like I did (and too colorful) so I think I'm safe. Even if he uses his En to find out where I am, hopefully he won't be able to reach me.

Damn, it's cold and dark in here...Still better than being in a room alone with Hisoka. I would use Zetsu to conceal my presence, but Uncle Riko told me to only use my Nen in tough situations. To me, this was a tough situation, but I don't want to disobey his orders...

All of a sudden, all the commotion outside comes to a stop. I hear footsteps approach the freezer door.

Oh god, please don't be him. Dammit, I know it's him...I hope he just knocked them all out instead of killing them. He's got me cornered now. In a freezer.

"You might as well come out now, Orion...you didn't really think I wouldn't come and get you, did you?~" Maybe if I don't respond.....

He sighed. "Alright then, I see how it is...I'm just going to come in then~"

Shit.


End file.
